i google had some good ones today.

Failure is not the only punishment for laziness; there is also the success of others.
- Jules Renard
What a blessing it would be if we could open and shut our ears as easily as we open and shut our eyes!
- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
Realism...has no more to do with reality than anything else.
- Hob Broun
He's the kind of a guy who lights up a room just by flicking a switch.
- Unknown